A man walks into a pub with a steering wheel on his duck and he asks for a pint and the bar tender says
"Do you realise you have a steering wheel on your duck?!?"
"Yeah", replied the man, "It's driving me nuts."
-------------------------------------------------------------------
This lorry driver sat eating his egg and chips in a transport cafe, when ten Hells Angels walked in.
They walked up to the lorry driver, started eating his dinner and drinking his tea.
The lorry driver just stood up and walked out. The Hells Angel leader walked up to the counter and sticking his chest out said
"He wasn't much of a man was he?"
"No" said the cafe manager, "he wasn't much of a lorry driver either, he's just reversed over ten motorbikes!"
---------------------------------------------------------------------
An old guy in his Volvo is driving home from work when his wife rings him on his carphone,
"honey", she says in a worried voice, "Be careful! There was a bit on the news just now, some lunitic is driving the wrong way down the motorway",
"It's worse than that!", he replies, "There are hundreds of them!"