Post-Whoring

[ruwds]

to Monamonu,

hey bro,

try using Xilisoft Audio converter and the xilisoft video converter for conversions.

I hav the audio converter and also did crack it to make it a full version. Seems pretty good...cos many conversions are allowed and also can change stereo/mono settings.

bye.

[Pericles]

So u wanna have ur cam on a strap around ur neck, hmmm mp3 player in ur trouser pocket, and wheres the pc gonna fit?!

, of course the mobile in ur other pocket. N70's all in one! kidding bro... cheers!!!

Edit: Did shakir jus say amen 2 that.. damn... lol

U aint seen my trousers..... my standard guide, unless jeans or formal, need at least 5 pockets, but go for 7 or more preferably.

Anyway, u can't match the induvidual quality of specialist devices. Yet. No phone camera is gonna challenge my cam for quality, optics, resolution and zoom. No phone is gonna challenge my MP3 player for capacity and quality. And no widget is gonna challenge my PC with large screen and surround sound. No compromise on quality for the sake of convinience to having it all in one.

Edited June 8, 2006 by Pericles

[Hola]

Since this post whore thread...MY NEW RIDGEBACK!!!! cute no???

[Bishu]

Since this post whore thread...MY NEW RIDGEBACK!!!! cute no???

Yes Bro,,, sweet little Puppy……

[Hola]

Yes Bro,,, sweet little Puppy……

Thanks....I wish i had another one

[xXx]

Since this post whore thread...MY NEW RIDGEBACK!!!! cute no???

untill this i thought i've seen it all in this thread. now who's gona open a new thread to post pics of their pets

[Bishu]

untill this i thought i've seen it all in this thread. now who's gona open a new thread to post pics of their pets

C’mon my friend XxX………Don’t get angry …..

[Elvis_Pil]

hmmm is it a bitch?

[Hola]

hmmm is it a bitch?

boy

[ruwds]

Since this post whore thread...MY NEW RIDGEBACK!!!! cute no???

nice little doggy....

[JwesT]

U aint seen my trousers..... my standard guide, unless jeans or formal, need at least 5 pockets, but go for 7 or more preferably.

Anyway, u can't match the induvidual quality of specialist devices. Yet. No phone camera is gonna challenge my cam for quality, optics, resolution and zoom. No phone is gonna challenge my MP3 player for capacity and quality. And no widget is gonna challenge my PC with large screen and surround sound. No compromise on quality for the sake of convinience to having it all in one.

[Pericles]

Old, OLD picture this one...

[noaim]

[Pericles]

Interesting post u picked for ur 1000th on the forum. Welcome to the club

[sharkster]

A man playing on a new golf course got confused as to what hole he was on. He saw a lady playing ahead of him. He walked up to her and asked if she knew what hole he was playing. She replied, "I'm on the 7th hole, and you're a hole behind me, so you must be on the 6th hole." He thanked her and went back to his golf.

On the back nine, the same thing happened, and he approached the lady again with the same request. She said, "I'm on the 14th, you are a hole behind me, so you must be on the 13th." Once again he thanked her.

He finished his round and went into the club house and saw the lady sitting at the end of the bar. He went up to her and said, "Let me buy you a drink to show my appreciation for your help." He started a conversation and asked her what kind of work she did. She said she was in sales, and he said he was in sales also. He asked what she sold.

She replied, "If I told you, you would only laugh."

"No, I wouldn't," he said.

She said, "I sell tampons."

With that he fell on the floor laughing so hard.

She said, "See, I knew you would laugh."

"That's not what I'm laughing at," he replied. "I'm a toilet paper salesman, so I'm STILL one hole behind you!"

[ash]

A man walks into a pub with a steering wheel on his duck and he asks for a pint and the bar tender says

"Do you realise you have a steering wheel on your duck?!?"

"Yeah", replied the man, "It's driving me nuts."

-------------------------------------------------------------------

This lorry driver sat eating his egg and chips in a transport cafe, when ten Hells Angels walked in.

They walked up to the lorry driver, started eating his dinner and drinking his tea.

The lorry driver just stood up and walked out. The Hells Angel leader walked up to the counter and sticking his chest out said

"He wasn't much of a man was he?"

"No" said the cafe manager, "he wasn't much of a lorry driver either, he's just reversed over ten motorbikes!"

---------------------------------------------------------------------

An old guy in his Volvo is driving home from work when his wife rings him on his carphone,

"honey", she says in a worried voice, "Be careful! There was a bit on the news just now, some lunitic is driving the wrong way down the motorway",

"It's worse than that!", he replies, "There are hundreds of them!"

[dragster]

I cant believe this thread is still alive... for one I dont even look at this thread...

oh well... if you cant beat them, might as well join them

A guy is in line at the supermarket when he notices that a

rather hot blonde behind him has just raised her hand and smiled

hello to him. He is rather taken back that such a looker would be

waving to him, and although familiar he can't place where he might

know her from, so he says "Sorry, do you know me?" She replies "I

maybe mistaken, but I thought you might be the father of one of my

children." His mind shoots back to the one and only time he'd been

unfaithful. "Holy crap," he says, "are you that stripper from my

bachelor party that I screwed on the pool table in front of all my

friends while your girlfriend whipped me with some wet celery and

stuck a cucumber up my arse ??

"No," she replies, "I'm your son's religion Teacher."

ha ha check it out... my 600 Post

[xXx]

for one I dont even look at this thread...

ha ha thats what everyone say but the thread has over 1000 posts n over 17000 views

[Bishu]

hE hE :--))

[dillongt]

thanx 2 sam ( ma coz )

You can study and get any certificates.. but you cannot get your own death certificate

(......by Dracula).

You may have DIALOG or MOBITEL connection, but when you sneeze, all you say is "HUTCH"

(...... by Mr. Bean).

You can 'bcom' an engineer if you study in an engineering college .... You cannot 'bcom' a president even you study in a President College

(...... by Mr. Premadasa).

A mechanical engineer can 'bcom' a mechanic but a software engineer can-not 'bcom' a software

(...... by Mr. Bill Gates).

You can find tea in a tea cup.. but cannot find world in a world cup

(...... by Mr. Arjuna Ranatunga).

You can find keys on a key board but you cannot find mothers on a mother board

(...... by Sunil/Gypsies)

[Cham-X]

Which one would u like to b in your next life???? A pig or….a lion????

If you yelled for 8 years, 7 months and 6 days you would have produced enough sound energy to heat one cup of coffee .

(Hardly seems worth it.)

The human heart creates enough pressure when it pumps out to the body to squirt blood 30 feet.

(O.M.G.!)

A pig's orgasm lasts 30 minutes.

(In my next life, I want to be a pig.)

A cockroach will live nine days without its head before it starves to death. (Creepy.)

(I'm still not over the pig.)

Banging your head against a wall uses 150 calories an hour.

(Do not try this at home. Maybe at work.)

The male praying mantis cannot copulate while its head is attached to its body. The female initiates sex by ripping the male's head off.

("Honey, I'm home. What the....?!")

The flea can jump 350 times its body length. It's like a human jumping the length of a football field.

(30 minutes... lucky pig. can you imagine??)

The catfish has over 27,000 taste buds.

(What could be so tasty on the bottom of a pond?)

Some lions mate over 50 times a day.

(I still want to be a pig in my next life...quality over quantity)

Butterflies taste with their feet.

(Something I always wanted to know.)

The strongest muscle in the body is the tongue.

(Hmmmmmm........)

Right-handed people live, on average, nine years longer than left-handed people.

(If you're ambidextrous, do you split the difference?)

Elephants are the only animals that cannot jump.

(OK, so that would be a good thing....)

A cat's urine glows under a black light.

(I wonder who was paid to figure that out?)

An ostrich's eye is bigger than its brain.

(I know some people like that.)

Starfish have no brains.

(I know some people like that too.)

Polar bears are left-handed.

(If they switch, they'll live a lot longer.)

Humans and dolphins are the only species that have sex for pleasure.

(What about that pig??)

[noaim]

These are actual stories from travel agents about their moronic customers...

Someone ask for an aisle seat so that his or her hair wouldn't get messed up by being near the window. (probably blonde)

A client called in inquiring about a package to Hawaii. After going over all the cost info, she asked, "Would it be cheaper to fly to California and then take the train to Hawaii?"

I got a call from a man who asked, "Is it possible to see England from Canada?" I said, "No." He said "But they look so close on the map."

Another man called and asked if he could rent a car in Dallas. When I pulled up the reservation, I noticed he had a 1-hour layover in Dallas. When I asked him why he wanted to rent a car, he said, "I heard Dallas was a big airport and I need a car to drive between the gates to Save time."

A nice lady just called. She needed to know how it was possible that her flight from Detroit left at 8:20am and got into Chicago at 8:33am. I tried to explain that Michigan was an hour ahead of Illinois, but she could not understand the concept of time zones. Finally I told her the plane went very fast, and she bought that!

A woman called and asked, "Do airlines put your physical description on your bag so they know who's luggage belongs to who?" I said, "No, why do you ask?" She replied, "Well, when I checked in with the airline, they put a tag on my luggage that said FAT, and I'm overweight, is there any connection?" After putting her on hold for a minute while I "looked into it" (I was actually laughing) I came back and explained the city code for Fresno is FAT, and that the airline was just putting a destination tag on her luggage.

I just got off the phone with a man who asked, "How do I know Which plane to get on?" I asked him what exactly he meant, which he replied, "I was told my flight number is 823, but none of these darn planes have numbers on them.

A woman called and said, "I need to fly to Pepsi-cola on one of those computer planes." I asked if she meant to fly to Pensacola on a commuter plane. She said, "Yeah, whatever."

A businessman called and had a question about the documents he needed in order to fly to China. After a lengthy discussion about passports, I reminded him he needed a visa. "Oh no I don't, I've been to China many times and never had to have one of those." I double checked and sure enough, his stay required a visa. When I told him this he said, "Look, I've been to China four times and every time they have accepted my American Express."

A woman called to make reservations, "I want to go from Chicago to Hippopotamus, New York." The agent was at a loss for words. Finally, the agent: "Are you sure that's the name of the town?" "Yes, what flights do you have?" replied the customer. After some searching, the agent came back with, "I'm sorry, ma'am, I've looked up every airport code in the country and can't find a Hippopotamus anywhere." The customer retorted, "Oh don't be silly. Everyone knows where it is. Check your map!" The agent scoured a map of the state of New York and finally offered, "You don't mean Buffalo, do you?"

[noaim]

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Employee Appraisal / Counseling Sheet

This form indicates employee performance in the position they currently hold.

Knowledge

[ ] The son of a bitch really knows his stuff

[ ] Knows just enough to be dangerous

[ ] Only half a brain and is dangerous

[ ] f**king brain damaged, his coffee cup has a higher IQ

Accuracy

[ ] Does excellent work if not preoccupied with p***y

[ ] Pretty good, only occasionally blows it out his ass

[ ] Has to take off his shoes to count to ten

[ ] Couldn't count his balls and get the same number twice

Attitude

[ ] Extremely cooperative if you kiss his ass frequently

[ ] Brown nose in good standing

[ ] Often pisses off co-workers, thinks it's his shop

[ ] Doesn't give a shit, never did and never will

Reliability

[ ] A really dependable little cocksucker

[ ] You can rely on him at evaluation time

[ ] Can rely on him to be the first one out the f**king door

[ ] Totally f**king useless/worthless

Appearance

[ ] Extremely neat, even combs his pubic hair

[ ] Looks great at evaluation time

[ ] Flies abandon fresh dog shit to follow him around

[ ] Dirty, filthy, dirty son of a bitch

Performance

[ ] Works like a son of a bitch, if there's money in it for him

[ ] Does all kinds of good shit at evaluation time

[ ] Works only if kicked in the ass every 2 minutes

[ ] Couldn't do less work if he were in a f**king coma

[GihanFX]

thanx 2 sam ( ma coz )

You can study and get any certificates.. but you cannot get your own death certificate

(......by Dracula).

You may have DIALOG or MOBITEL connection, but when you sneeze, all you say is "HUTCH"

(...... by Mr. Bean).

You can 'bcom' an engineer if you study in an engineering college .... You cannot 'bcom' a president even you study in a President College

(...... by Mr. Premadasa).

A mechanical engineer can 'bcom' a mechanic but a software engineer can-not 'bcom' a software

(...... by Mr. Bill Gates).

You can find tea in a tea cup.. but cannot find world in a world cup

(...... by Mr. Arjuna Ranatunga).

You can find keys on a key board but you cannot find mothers on a mother board

(...... by Sunil/Gypsies)

Ela Ela

[noaim]

For those of you who are not "fortunate" enough to live in California, here is a copy of the California Driver's Exam, and for those of you who do, study real hard. This is a new exam. Since driving conditions (and culture) are unique in Los Angeles, you may not have realized that the California Department of Motor Vehicles has now issued a special application and driver's test solely for the Los Angeles Metropolitan Area.

Here it is below:

GREATER LOS ANGELES AREA DRIVER'S LICENSE APPLICATION:

Name:______________ Stage name: ________________

Agent:______________ Attorney:__________________

Sex: ___male ___female ___formerly male ___formerly female ___both

If female, indicate breast implant size: ____

Will the size of your implants hinder your ability to safely operate a motor vehicle in any way? Yes___ No ___

Please list brand of cell phone: ________.

If you don't own a cell phone, please explain:________________________

Please check hair color:

Females: [ ] Blonde [ ] Platinum Blonde

Teenagers: [ ] Purple [ ] Blue [ ] Skinhead

Please check activities you perform while driving: (Check all that

apply)

[ ] Eating

[ ] Applying make-up

[ ] Talking on the phone

[ ] Slapping kids in the back-seat

[ ] Applying cellulite treatment to thighs

[ ] Tanning

[x] Snorting cocaine (already checked for ease of application)

[ ] Watching TV

[ ] Reading Variety

[ ] Surfing the net via laptop

Please indicate how many times:

a) you expect to shoot at other drivers ____

how many times you expect to be shot at while driving ____

If you are the victim of a car jacking, you should immediately:

a) Call the police to report the crime

Call Channel 4 News to report the crime, then watch your car on the news in a high-speed chase

c) Call your attorney and discuss lawsuit against cellular phone company for 911 call not going through

d) Call your therapist

e) None of the above (South Central residents only)

In the event of an earthquake, should you:

a) stop your car

keep driving and hope for the best

c) immediately use your cell phone to call all loved ones

d) pull out your video camera and obtain footage for Channel 4

In the instance of rain, you should:

a) decelerate by 5 mph

drive twice as fast as usual

c) you're not sure what "rain" is

Please indicate number of therapy sessions per week: ____.

Are you presently taking any of the following medications?

a) Prozac

Zovirax

c) Lithium

d) Zanax

e) Valium

f) Zoloft

If none, please explain: __________________.

Length of daily commute:

a) 1 hour

2 hours

c) 3 hours

d) 4 hours or more

When stopped by police, should you:

a) pull over and have your driver's license and insurance form ready

try to outrun them by driving the wrong way on the 405 Freeway

c) have your video camera ready and provoke them to attack, thus ensuring yourself of a hefty lawsuit.