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milinda

By milinda
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Pericles Newbie

Pericles

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I can clearly remember the days I used to pass a petrol station near my school and see those old blue diesel pumps with "Rs.14.50 a litre." :P Not all that long ago either

hmmmm, so do I. Pumping diesel into the Trooper. :( And I was laughing at the ppl who were pumping petrol for around 44 bucks <_<

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milinda
milinda

Well guys I have noticed the quality of posts were gradually diminishing due to the "post counter" on this new forum i.e rat race to B the highest post(whor)ers Therefore I hope MADZ wouldnt mind

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GihanFX Newbie

GihanFX

Posted
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It means, you use the high octane petrol to your car <_< Hi Fi Bugger... :( ....

Aiyo no machan, belive me 95 octain is better than the normal one, more gas milage, good for ur engine n sensors specially o2 sensor n u get bit more power.,, :P

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Watchman Newbie

Watchman

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hmmmm, so do I. Pumping diesel into the Trooper. :P And I was laughing at the ppl who were pumping petrol for around 44 bucks :alc:

true... when i started learnign about fuel priced etc, they were the same as what praveen was saying... i used to think people who drove petrol cars were VERY rich .... cos my father's always had diesel vehicles...

:)

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AMG Newbie

AMG

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Aiyo no machan, belive me 95 octain is better than the normal one, more gas milage, good for ur engine n sensors specially o2 sensor n u get bit more power.,, :alc:

know that... just kidding machan....no worries.. :P

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noaim Newbie

noaim

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looks like the jokes-supplier himself missed one

I was a bit slow on that one... rusty after the avurudu break i guess..

He he!

Retire Aged Personnel Early

As a result of the reduction of money budgeted for the Department areas, we are forced to cut our number of personnel.

Under the new plan, older employees will be asked to accept early retirement, thus permitting the retention of younger people who represent our future plans.

Therefore, a programme to phase out older personnel by the end of the current fiscal year, via retirement, will be placed in effect immediately. The programme will be known as R.A.P.E. (Retire Aged Personnel Early).

Employees who are R.A.P.E.D. will be given the opportunity to look for other employment outside the company. Provided they are being R.A.P.E.D., they can request a review of the employment records before actual retirement takes place. This phase of the operation will be called S.C.R.E.W. (Survey of Capabilities of retired Early Workers).

All employees who have been R.A.P.E.D. or S.C.R.E.W.E.D. may file an appeal with upper management. This will be called S.H.A.F.T. (Study by Higher Authority Following Termination). Under the terms of the new policies, employees may be R.A.P.E.D. once, S.C.R.E.W.E.D. twice, but may be S.H.A.F.T.E.D. as many times as the company deems appropriate.

If any employee follows the above procedure, he or she will be entitled to get H.E.R.P.E.S. (Half Earnings for Retired Personnel's Early Severance). As H.E.R.P.E.S. is considered a benefit plan. any employee who has received H.E.R.P.E.S. will no longer be R.A.P.E.D. or S.C.R.E.W.E.D. by the company.

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noaim Newbie

noaim

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Take the first annual, Choose-A-Urinal Challenge! Men should ace this test (or suffer the wrath of men everywhere)... women are on their own. But, there IS a code of the rest room that MUST be followed. The, following is the urinal configuration in a sample men's room. An X above the number will indicate "in use."

(Sample)

X X

1 2 3 4 5 6

Indicates men are at stalls 3 and 6.

You mission is to identify correctly, based on proper urinal etiquette, the stall at which you should stand. Good luck!

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Easy Section

1. Urinals 2 and 4 are occupied.

X X

1 2 3 4 5 6

Enter your choice here: __

The correct answer is 6. It's the ONLY one to go to and every guy instinctively knows this.

2. Urinal 1 is occupied.

X

1 2 3 4 5 6

Enter your choice here: __

The correct answer is 6. Stall 5 is acceptable, but you run a greater risk of being next to someone who arrives later.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Kind of Tricky Section

3. No urinals are occupied.

1 2 3 4 5 6

Enter your choice here: __

The correct answer is 1 or 6. By choosing one of these, you are tacitly saying, "I don't want anyone next to me."

4. Urinals 2, 4 and 6 are occupied.

X X X

1 2 3 4 5 6

Enter your choice here: __

The correct answer is 1. You're stuck being next to at least ONE guy, so you minimize the impact and get a wall on your left. NEVER go between TWO guys if you can help it. Exceptions to this are stadium rest rooms where the herd thunders in.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Subtle, Tricky, but Important to Know Section

5. Urinals 2, 5 and 6 are occupied.

X X X

1 2 3 4 5 6

Enter your choice here: __

The correct answer is 4. Believe it or not, 1 or 3 "couples" you with the guy in stall 2. And we wouldn't want THAT now, would we? This differs from question 4 in such a subtle way that the nuances cannot be explained. Suffice it to say, only we men would understand!

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

VERY Tricky Indeed Section

6. Urinals 1, 2, 5 and 6 are occupied.

X X X X

1 2 3 4 5 6

Enter your choice here: __

The answer is NONE! You go to the mirror and pretend to comb your hair or straighten a tie until the urinals "open up" a bit more. If you have to go REAL, REAL BAD, for God's sake, man, use a stall with a door!

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Other Parts of the Unwritten Code of the Urinals:

NO Talking, unless it's a good friend... but even then, keep it terse and unemotional. This ain't no clubhouse.

I don't think I need to tell you, but absolutely NO touching of anyone other than yourself. A touch of another's elbow is the highest offense.

NO Singing. Period.

Glances are for purposes of acknowledgment only..."Yeah, I see you there. I will not look again."

Who'd have thought SO much goes into a seemingly simple process?

** Moderators feel quiete free to delete this if u deem it offensive! :) **

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noaim Newbie

noaim

Posted
Posted
delete it? its almost like I wrote these rules!

lol.. Next time u see the urinals messed up, and see shak nywhere near the place, u know who did it! :) jk!

Ele Ela, bt too long..

Ah ghee.. cut seem to cut that short.. sorry bro!

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Pericles Newbie

Pericles

Posted
Posted

:)

Hey Pericles, any trips to Tanzania coming up? :D

Huh? Am I missing something?

Take the first annual, Choose-A-Urinal Challenge! Men should ace this test (or suffer the wrath of men everywhere)... women are on their own. But, there IS a code of the rest room that MUST be followed. The, following is the urinal configuration in a sample men's room. An X above the number will indicate "in use."

Who'd have thought SO much goes into a seemingly simple process?

** Moderators feel quiete free to delete this if u deem it offensive! :) **

Damn, I missed 5. Tricky one. In that case I would do the same as 6 :D

I find it hilarious. Up to Madz discretion ;)

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noaim Newbie

noaim

Posted
Posted

People into car stereos will probably get a kick out of this. Its a way to have some kind of ranking system with which to describe these sometimes elaborate stereo systems. Even if you're not into it, you can tell the difference between guys riding around in a "try hard" system and a "dope ass, in your face" system.

So we have devised the "CLASS" system, ranking cars from Class 1 being truly an awesome event which you will never forget, to Class 4, something you wish you could forget - very bad. In a way you may find it amusing but in the end they are in fact quite descriptive and you can use them with friends so they know exactly what your talking about when describing someone's car audio system!

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Disorientation, loss of direction and concentration, mandatory head turn. And they said in the weather report it wasn't going to be windy! Ear bleeds. Adrenaline rush. Dropping to knees to pray.

You thought god was coming until you realized it was the cars subwoofers giving you that pressure sensation in your chest, only equalled by the astounding levels of treble.

CLASS 1

Codenames : The Earthquake Epicentre, Bertha

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Someone's out with their sound system turned up and windows down! But where? Ohhh, I heard it from that far? Geez, if my ears are in pain, what about that guy in the back seat scratching on the windows trying to get out!

Bass notes are pronounced and hard hitting, but aren't knocking you over. Treble is reallllyyy loud which seems to be trying to make up for a lack of mids? Hmmmmm. Watch for the Knight Rider alarm light blinking back and forth!

CLASS 2

Codenames : Rolling Disco, PA

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What is that? Surely that's not another car going by playing "Another Night" by Real McCoy? Shit, it is! An awful lot of treble coming out of that car. Ahhh that's because its got a row of... FOUR 6x9's on the back shelf!?!?! As the car goes by you can see the LOUD light glowing on the tape deck. But that's funny, there isn't any bass. Why is that guy got his head hanging out the window looking for people to notice the car? I only did accidentally. Also notice the stuff hanging off the rear view mirror, how dire!

No bass, an abundance of treble, no distortion because they got it just below that point.

CLASS 3

Codenames : The Juvenile Committee, Theme Park

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Hahaha, what's that sound? Oh shit! Its right beside me! I could probably spit louder (and hopefully hit their car). Sounds like the car beside me has it up "pretty loud" (cough cough)... Maybe I should warn him about the possibility of hearing loss, he must be pushing, ohh, 85dB!!! hahaha

Usually a level up from a stock system, with a "power booster EQ" under the glove box. Full volume, your witnessing popping sounds and distortion like the music is being played through a sand pipe! Look for the PIONEER sticker on the back window. Even better, look for an ALPINE sticker and then see if the car actually HAS any ALPINE gear in it hahaha.

CLASS 4

Codenames : Tincan, Roadshow, Rolling Circus

:D:angry-smiley-048:

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noaim Newbie

noaim

Posted
Posted
50 Pages ? or more

HUH?!

* this is the only thread u can get away wit one word replies! :P

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It is always important to have a plan of action ready in case an unfortunate event occurs at home. Here are some helpful tips that could really help out...

1. If you are chocking on an ice cube don't panic. Simply pour a kettle of freshly boiling water down your throat and presto! The blockage almost instantly removed.

2. Clumsy? Avoid cutting yourself while slicing vegetables by getting someone else to hold them while you chop away.

3. Avoid argument with the missus about lifting toilet seat by simply using the sink.

4. High Blood pressure sufferers: Make an incision in your left or right wrist and bleed yourself for several hours, reducing the pressure in your veins.

5. A mouse trap placed on top of your alarm clock will prevent you from rolling over and going back to sleep when you hit the snooze button.

6. If you have a bad cough take a large dose of laxatives, then you will be afraid to cough

7. Avoid the mess when your toilet backs up, use the yard.

Of course i don't recommend you actually use any of these remedies, they are for humor purposes only.

:ninja::lol:

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