Post-Whoring

xXx · June 29, 2006

The expansion will span over the next 2-3 years. We are mainly looking for Computing and IT grads. They are in short supply, which is obvious. But the problem is machan, even some of the few ones that do come out are not upto industry standards.

So we have made a decision, instead of whining and complaining, to work with all the public and private universities in structuring their curriculums . As far as the quantity is concerned, we have conversion programs for interested grads of other deciplines to cross-over , especially for non-tech tracks.

how come all of a sudden there's a short supply of IT grads. i thought the sector was over flooded. there are so many people doing IT related courses n degrees in SL. look at all the private unis. if you ask someone who has completed A/Ls the yare either doing IT or CIMA.

Memphis · June 29, 2006

how come all of a sudden there's a short supply of IT grads. i thought the sector was over flooded. there are so many people doing IT related courses n degrees in SL. look at all the private unis. if you ask someone who has completed A/Ls the yare either doing IT or CIMA.

True. I shouldn't have just said grads.. I should have said "quality" grads. The fact that memorizing lecture notes and parroting them out on a term paper will make the local education system happy does not mean that the Sri Lankan IT industry in general will treat one as a valuable asset.

Especially companies such as Virtusa and MIT have to compete at a global level, against stereotipical assumptions by westerners towards outsoursing and the South Asian professionals in general.

Trust me when I tell you. When we put 10 graduates through practical tests, we only manage to get around 2 to 3 who deserve a 2nd interview. Let's say this is 30%. Now, Sri Lanka in total produces around 1000 - 1500 Computing and IT grads a year from both public and private sector institutions. India is lucky because they produce a huge number of grads in proportion to the population. Although the education systems in both countries are very similar, they get the long end of the stick due to sheer numbers.

What we have noticed is that our students are on par with, if not smarter than their counterparts as far as the level of IQ is concerned. But they are not guided by the education system to be self driven and self motivated. They rely purely on study material and the system rewards them for doing just that. They never learn to research and question the existing theories and to evolve, which is a must in a high tech industry like IT.

I'm sure the above story is familiar People from the industry have been saying it for more than a decade now. So, as I said we have decided take 'proactive' measures to change this. I for one, hope, for the sake of the Sri Lankan IT industry and its expansion, that we and those working with us succeed.

sharkster · June 29, 2006

Sharkie this one's for you ...

lol thanks dude

Hola · June 29, 2006

xXx · June 29, 2006

/\

|

man you took post whoring to a different league n now you've taken reposting to new heights as well

Memphis u got a good point there. is it actually that bad? what kinda stuff do you get in the practical test??? which office do you work in? trans or WTC???

Memphis · June 29, 2006

Memphis u got a good point there. is it actually that bad? what kinda stuff do you get in the practical test??? which office do you work in? trans or WTC???

Yeah, it's not very good. Good thing we get loads of applications. We ask basic theoretical stuff and some code.

I'm at TA

sharkster · June 30, 2006

Yeah, it's not very good. Good thing we get loads of applications. We ask basic theoretical stuff and some code.

I'm at TA

a frnd and colleague will be joinin u shortly as a systems engineer...asitha...gud guy

miniace · June 30, 2006

Woman auctions herself with her Ferrari

BERLIN (Reuters)Thu Jun 29, 7:33 AM ET

- A woman living in Germany is auctioning off her red Ferrari Enzo sports car and including a little extra in the package -- herself.

The 26-year-old has invited bids on Internet auction site ebay starting at 1.25 million euros ($1.6 million). She said she was rich herself, liked her car and was looking for a man who could foot the bill for such a luxury.

"Only a millionaire could afford such a car," said the woman, who gave her name as Leila and said she once worked as a singer in Syria. "I want a man who doesn't like me just for my money."

Leila said she would meet with interested bidders but would need to see the bidder's passport and proof of capital. No bids have been made yet in the auction which ends in a week.

Watchman · June 30, 2006

Woman auctions herself with her Ferrari

"I want a man who doesn't like me just for my money."

let me get this straight.. she wants someone to marry her not just for her money... and her idea of finding this man is by advertising her wealth (or potential wealth), and asking for HIS proof of wealth... interesting.....

wonder if we can find a guy with the same qualities... hook them up and get the "kapu mataththaya's " comission

Hola · June 30, 2006

Just heard an Australian soccer fan was arrested after the game in Germany, charged with assaulting an Italian Soccer fan. The Italian fan suffered fractures, bruising, abrasions and a fractured skull. As a result of these horrendous injuries, the Italian man has anxiety, depression and has now developed Diabetes. The Australian was 20 metres away at the time of the attack. The Italian is expected to make a full recovery in 5 minutes

noaim · July 1, 2006

Job Descriptions

1. A banker is a fellow who lends you his umbrella when the sun is shining and wants it back the minute it begins to rain.

2. An economist is an expert who will know tomorrow why the things he predicted yesterday didn't happen today.

3. A statistician is someone who is good with numbers but lacks the personality to be an accountant.

4. An actuary is someone who brings a fake bomb on a plane, because that decreases the chances that there will be another bomb on the plane.

5. A programmer is someone who solves a problem you didn't know you had in a way you don't understand.

6. A mathematician is like a blind man in a dark room looking for a black cat that isn't there.

7. A topologist is a someone who doesn't know the difference between a coffee cup and doughnut.

8. A lawyer is a person who writes a 10,000 word document and calls it a "brief."

9. A psychologist is someone who watches everyone else when a beautiful girl enters the room.

10. A professor is one who talks in someone else's sleep.

11. A consultant is someone who takes the watch off your wrist and tells you the time.

12. A committee is a body that keeps minutes and wastes hours.

noaim · July 1, 2006

Some things you should learn from children over the years...

I have posted somewhat be4, this has got some additions!

1. There is no such thing as child-proofing your house.

2. If you spray hair spray on dust bunnies and run over them with roller blades, they can ignite.

3. A 3 year-old's voice is louder than 200 adults in a crowded restaurant.

4. If you hook a dog leash over a ceiling fan, the motor is not strong enough to rotate a 42 pound boy wearing batman underwear and a superman cape.

5. It is strong enough however to spread paint on all four walls of a 20 by 20 foot room.

6. Baseballs make marks on ceilings.

7. You should not throw baseballs up when the ceiling fan is on.

8. When using the ceiling fan as a bat you have to throw the ball up a few times before you get a hit.

9. A ceiling fan can hit a baseball a long way.

10. The glass in windows (even double pane) doesn't stop a baseball hit by a ceiling fan.

11. When you hear the toilet flush and the words Uh-oh, it's already too late.

12. Brake fluid mixed with Clorox makes smoke, and lots of it.

13. A six year old can start a fire with a flint rock even though a 36 year old man says they can only do it in the movies.

14. A magnifying glass can start a fire even on an overcast day.

15. If you use a waterbed as home plate while wearing baseball shoe it does not leak-it explodes.

16. A king size waterbed holds enough water to fill a 2000 sq foot house 4 inches deep.

17. Legos will pass through the digestive tract of a four year old.

18. Duplos will not.

19. Play Dough and Microwave should never be used in the same sentence.

20. Super glue is forever.

21. No matter how much Jell-O you put in a swimming pool you still can't walk on water.

22. Pool filters do not like Jell-O.

23. VCR's do not eject PB&J sandwiches even though TV commercials show they do.

24. Garbage bags do not make good parachutes.

25. Marbles in gas tanks make lots of noise when driving.

26. You probably do not want to know what that odor is.27. Always look in the oven before you turn it on.

28. Plastic toys do not like ovens.

29. The fire department in Austin has at least a 5 minute response time.

30. The spin cycle on the washing machine does not make earth worms dizzy.

31. It will however make cats dizzy.

32. Cats throw up twice their body weight when dizzy.

33. Quiet does not necessarily mean don't worry.

34. A good sense of humor will get you through most problems in life (unfortunately, mostly in retrospect).

MRM · July 1, 2006

Some things you should learn from children over the years...

I have posted somewhat be4, this has got some additions!

1. There is no such thing as child-proofing your house.

2. If you spray hair spray on dust bunnies and run over them with roller blades, they can ignite.

3. A 3 year-old's voice is louder than 200 adults in a crowded restaurant.

4. If you hook a dog leash over a ceiling fan, the motor is not strong enough to rotate a 42 pound boy wearing batman underwear and a superman cape.

5. It is strong enough however to spread paint on all four walls of a 20 by 20 foot room.

6. Baseballs make marks on ceilings.

7. You should not throw baseballs up when the ceiling fan is on.

8. When using the ceiling fan as a bat you have to throw the ball up a few times before you get a hit.

9. A ceiling fan can hit a baseball a long way.

10. The glass in windows (even double pane) doesn't stop a baseball hit by a ceiling fan.

11. When you hear the toilet flush and the words Uh-oh, it's already too late.

12. Brake fluid mixed with Clorox makes smoke, and lots of it.

13. A six year old can start a fire with a flint rock even though a 36 year old man says they can only do it in the movies.

14. A magnifying glass can start a fire even on an overcast day.

15. If you use a waterbed as home plate while wearing baseball shoe it does not leak-it explodes.

16. A king size waterbed holds enough water to fill a 2000 sq foot house 4 inches deep.

17. Legos will pass through the digestive tract of a four year old.

18. Duplos will not.

19. Play Dough and Microwave should never be used in the same sentence.

20. Super glue is forever.

21. No matter how much Jell-O you put in a swimming pool you still can't walk on water.

22. Pool filters do not like Jell-O.

23. VCR's do not eject PB&J sandwiches even though TV commercials show they do.

24. Garbage bags do not make good parachutes.

25. Marbles in gas tanks make lots of noise when driving.

26. You probably do not want to know what that odor is.27. Always look in the oven before you turn it on.

28. Plastic toys do not like ovens.

29. The fire department in Austin has at least a 5 minute response time.

30. The spin cycle on the washing machine does not make earth worms dizzy.

31. It will however make cats dizzy.

32. Cats throw up twice their body weight when dizzy.

33. Quiet does not necessarily mean don't worry.

34. A good sense of humor will get you through most problems in life (unfortunately, mostly in retrospect).

good one

very slow day

working on saturday(half day ) is waste of money & time

Hola · July 2, 2006

This guy went to the doctor and said to him "Doctor....I don't know what's wrong with me, but every time I fart, it sounds like the word HONDA".

"That's interesting, never heard of anything like that before. Do you think you could fart for me?" says the doctor.

The guy says "Sure." And sure enough, the doctor hears "HONDA".

After several attempts to figure out what's wrong with this guy, the doctor runs out of ideas. He sends him to all sorts of stomach specialists and none of them can figure out why this guys farts say "HONDA." It is a completely out of this world medical condition.

Finally, as a last resort, the doctors think they should send the man to a dentist. After explaining the problem to the dentist, the dentist opened up the guys mouth and examining it.

The dentist says "A-haa!!!!....I have solved the problem."

The patient says "What is it? What is it. Please tell me doc".....

The dentist replies "Well, sir, you have an abscess tooth."

The guy says "Yeah....so....What has that got to do with my farts?"

The dentist replies, "Cant you see??..... Abscess Makes The Fart Go HONDA"

milinda · July 2, 2006

This guy went to the doctor and said to him "Doctor....I don't know what's wrong with me, but every time I fart, it sounds like the word HONDA".
The dentist replies, "Cant you see??..... Abscess Makes The Fart Go HONDA"

Call me dumb, but I really dont understand this joke .Somebody please explain!!!!!!. May be I dont have the IQ level of HOLA or a passion for HONDAS to understand this joke

Pericles · July 2, 2006

Call me dumb, but I really dont understand this joke .Somebody please explain!!!!!!. May be I dont have the IQ level of HOLA or a passion for HONDAS to understand this joke

Its just a word play on "absence makes the heart grow fonder".

milinda · July 2, 2006

Its just a word play on "absence makes the heart grow fonder".

Thanks Peri, now I got it :blink: . Not a very good joke though.

noaim · July 3, 2006

REMEDIES

1. If you are choking on an ice cube, don't panic. Simply pour a cup of

boiling water down your throat and presto! The blockage will be almost

instantly removed.

2. Clumsy? Avoid cutting yourself while slicing vegetables by getting

someone else to hold them while you chop away.

3. Avoid arguments with the Mrs. about lifting the toilet seat by simply

using the sink.

4. High blood pressure sufferers: simply cut yourself and bleed for a while,

thus reducing the pressure in your veins.

5. A mouse trap, placed on top of your alarm clock, will prevent you from

rolling over and going back to sleep when you hit the snooze button.

6. If you have a bad cough, take a large dose of laxatives, then you will be

afraid to cough.

7. Have a bad toothache? Hit your thumb with a hammer, then you will forget about the toothache.

8. Everyone seems normal until you get to know them.

9. AND..... Sometimes we just need to remember what The Rules of Life really are: You need only two tools: WD-40 and duct tape. If it doesn't move and it should, use WD-40. If it moves and shouldn't, use the duct tape.

10. If you woke up breathing, congratulations! You have another chance!

11. And finally... Be really good to your family and friends. You never know

when you are going to need them to empty your bedpan.

noaim · July 3, 2006

How to treat a lady!

1. When she asks how she looks shrug and say "could be better" this will keep her on her toes and girls love that.

2. Never hold her hand. This can be interpreted as a sign of weakness. (Or if she grabs your hand squeeze hers really really hard until she cries. This will impress her by showing her what a strong man you are.)

3. Once a month sneak up on her from behind and knock her over. Girls are like dogs. They love to be roughed up.

4. Call her in the middle of the night to ask if she's sleeping. If she is, say you better be. Repeat this 4 or 5 times until morning. This will show her you care.

5. When she is upset about something, suggest to her that it might be her fault. This will pave the way for her own personal improvement and every girl needs some improvement.

6. Recognize the small things . . . they usually mean the most. Then when she's sleeping, steal all her small things and break them, because jewelry is for pussies and Asian ladies.

7. If you're talking to another girl, make sure shes looking. When she is, stare into her eyes mouth the words "f**k you" and grab the other girls ass. Girls love competition.

8. Introduce her to your friends as "some chick". Women love those special nicknames.

9. Warm her up when shes cold...and not by giving her your jacket... Then you might get cold. Rather, look her in the eye and say "if you don't stop bitching about the cold right now you're going to be bitching about a black eye." The best way to get warm is with fear.

10. Take her to a party. When you get there shell have to go to the bathroom (they always do). Leave immediately. Come back right when the party's dying and yell at her the whole way home for ditching you at the party.

11. Make her laugh. A good way to do this is if she has a small pet. Kick the pet. I always find stuff like that funny. Why shouldn't girls?

12. If you care about her never ever tell her. This will only give her self confidence. Then you can never turn her into the object she deep down desires to be.

13. Every time you're in her house steal one of the following: shoes, earrings, or anything else that comes in pairs. Only take one of the pair. This way shell go crazy.

14. Give her one of your t-shirts......and make sure it has your smell on it. but not a sexy cologne smell. A bad smell. You know what I'm talking about.

15. Titty twisters and plenty of them.

16. If you're listening to music, and she asks to hear it, tell her no. This way she'll think you're mysterious.

17. Remember her birthday but don't get her something. Teach her material objects aren't important. The only thing thats important is that she keeps you happy. And your happiness is the greatest present she can ever get.

18. When she gives you a present on your birthday, Christmas, or just when ever, take it and tell her you love it. Then next time you know she's coming over on a trash day leave the trash can open and have the present visibly sticking out of the can. Girls actually don't like this one that much but I think it's funny.

19. If shes mad at you for not calling her when you say you will promise her that you will call her at a certain time of the day. This will make sure that she waits by the phone. Tell her when you call you're going to tell her a special surprise. Now shell be really excited. Now don't call.

20. Next time you are having sex, make sure you get off before she does, then get off her and leave. Girls love that.

Written by Unknown

noaim · July 3, 2006

Just in case you need a laugh: Remember it takes a college

degree to

fly a plane but only a high school diploma to fix one.

Reassurance

for those of us who fly routinely in our jobs.

After every flight, Qantas pilots fill out a form, called a

"gripe

sheet," which tells mechanics about problems with the aircraft.

The

mechanics correct the problems, document their repairs on the

form,

and then pilots review the gripe sheets before the next flight.

Never

let it be said that ground crews lack a sense of humor. Here

are some

actual maintenance complaints submitted by Qantas' pilots

(marked

with a P) and the solutions recorded (marked with an S) by

maintenance engineers. By the way, Qantas is the only major

airline

that has never, ever, had an accident.

pilots complaints (marked with a P)

solutions recorded (marked with an S)

P: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement.

S: Almost replaced left inside main tire.

P: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough.

S: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft.

P: Something loose in cockpit.

S: Something tightened in cockpit.

P: Dead bugs on windshield.

S: Live bugs on back-order.

P: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200 feet per

minute

descent.

S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground.

P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.

S: Evidence removed.

P: DME volume unbelievably loud.

S: DME volume set to more believable level.

P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.

S: That's what friction locks are for.

P: IFF inoperative in OFF mode.

S: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.

P: Suspected crack in windshield.

S: Suspect you're right.

P: Number 3 engine missing.

S: Engine found on right wing after brief search.

P: Aircraft handles funny. (I love this one!)

S: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right, and be serious.

P: Target radar hums.

S: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics.

P: Mouse in cockpit.

S: Cat installed.

And last ....

P: Noise coming from under instrument panel. Sounds like a

midget

pounding on something with a hammer.

S: Took hammer away from midget

Pericles · July 3, 2006

Ya know this is not right because

After every flight, Qantas pilots fill out a form, called a

"gripe sheet," which tells mechanics about problems with the aircraft.

P: Target radar hums.

S: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics.

Why would Quantas planes have target radars? Someone lifted this off a military list and put in "quantas"

sharkster · July 3, 2006

dude nuaim...we sure knw how business is these days lol jk

milinda · July 3, 2006

Just in case you need a laugh: Remember it takes a college
degree to

fly a plane but only a high school diploma to fix one.

Reassurance

for those of us who fly routinely in our jobs.

After every flight, Qantas pilots fill out a form, called a

"gripe

sheet," which tells mechanics about problems with the aircraft.

The

mechanics correct the problems, document their repairs on the

form,

and then pilots review the gripe sheets before the next flight.

Never

let it be said that ground crews lack a sense of humor. Here

are some

actual maintenance complaints submitted by Qantas' pilots

(marked

with a P) and the solutions recorded (marked with an S) by

maintenance engineers. By the way, Qantas is the only major

airline

that has never, ever, had an accident.

pilots complaints (marked with a P)

solutions recorded (marked with an S)

P: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement.

S: Almost replaced left inside main tire.

P: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough.

S: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft.

P: Something loose in cockpit.

S: Something tightened in cockpit.

P: Dead bugs on windshield.

S: Live bugs on back-order.

P: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200 feet per

minute

descent.

S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground.

P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.

S: Evidence removed.

P: DME volume unbelievably loud.

S: DME volume set to more believable level.

P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.

S: That's what friction locks are for.

P: IFF inoperative in OFF mode.

S: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.

P: Suspected crack in windshield.

S: Suspect you're right.

P: Number 3 engine missing.

S: Engine found on right wing after brief search.

P: Aircraft handles funny. (I love this one!)

S: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right, and be serious.

P: Target radar hums.

S: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics.

P: Mouse in cockpit.

S: Cat installed.

And last ....

P: Noise coming from under instrument panel. Sounds like a

midget

pounding on something with a hammer.

S: Took hammer away from midget

noaim · July 4, 2006

dude nuaim...we sure knw how business is these days lol jk

, machan the bazaar (hardware) is dry!!!

unknown · July 4, 2006

JOKE

Is the wife in control?

Everybody on earth dies and goes to heaven.

God comes and says "I want the men to make two lines. One line for the men that dominated their women on earth

and the other line for the men that were whipped by their women. Also, I want all the women to go with St Peter."

Said and done, the next time God looks the women are gone and there are two lines.

The line of the men that were whipped was 100 miles long, on the line of men that dominated women there was only one man.

God got mad and said. "You men should be ashamed of yourselves. I created you in my image, and you were all whipped by your mates.

Look at the only one of my sons that stood up and made me proud, Learn from him! - Tell them my son how did you manage to be the only one on that line?"

The man said, "I don't know. My wife told me to stand here."