Post-Whoring

[Hola]

he he forget it bishu bro

[noaim]

[ash]

For all the A/L with love!!!

http://www.metacafe.com/watch/86483/video/R/CFD_1000/ Enjoy!

[noaim]

A husband was in big trouble when he forgot his wife's birthday. But she was willing to let it pass if he made it up to her in the right way.

His wife told him "Tomorrow there better be something in the driveway for me that goes zero to 200 in 2 seconds flat".

The next morning the wife found a small package in the driveway. She opened it and found a brand new bathroom scale.

Funeral arrangements for the husband have been set for Saturday.

....................

It was opening night at the Orpheum and the Amazing Claude was topping the bill. People came from miles around to see the famed hypnotist do his stuff. As Claude took to the stage, he announced, "Unlike most stage hypnotists who invite two or three people up onto the stage to be put into a trance, I intend to hypnotise each and every member of the audience."

The excitement was almost electric as Claude withdrew a beautiful antique pocket watch from his coat. "I want you each to keep your eye on this antique watch. It's a very special watch. It's been in my family for six generations."

He began to swing the watch gently back and forth while quietly chanting "Watch the watch, watch the watch, watch the watch...."

The crowd became mesmerized as the watch swayed back and forth, light gleaming off its polished surface. Hundreds of pairs of eyes followed the swaying watch, until suddenly it slipped from the hypnotist's fingers and fell to the floor, breaking into a hundred pieces. "Shit!" said the hypnotist.

It took three weeks to clean up the theatre.

[noaim]

Count the "F's" in the following text:

FINISHED FILES ARE THE RE-

SULT OF YEARS OF SCIENTIF-

IC STUDY COMBINED WITH THE

EXPERIENCE OF YEARS...

(see below)

Scroll down only after you have counted them, okay?

How many did you count? 3?

Wrong, there are 6! Read it again. The brain cannot process "OF" - incredible or what? Supposedly anyone who counts all 6 "F's" on the first go is a genius. Three is normal, four is quite rare.

[ash]

Count the "F's" in the following text:

FINISHED FILES ARE THE RE-

SULT OF YEARS OF SCIENTIF-

IC STUDY COMBINED WITH THE

EXPERIENCE OF YEARS...

(see below)

Scroll down only after you have counted them, okay?

How many did you count? 3?

Wrong, there are 6! Read it again. The brain cannot process "OF" - incredible or what? Supposedly anyone who counts all 6 "F's" on the first go is a genius. Three is normal, four is quite rare.

I count all 6... Yapeeeee..... I'm a genius

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I've seen this before...

[MrCat]

I count all 6... Yapeeeee..... I'm a genius

I came up with 5.. that makes me a semi-genius ..??

[GihanFX]

first time 5 bt 2nd time 6

[nadskit]

Count the "F's" in the following text:

FINISHED FILES ARE THE RE-

SULT OF YEARS OF SCIENTIF-

IC STUDY COMBINED WITH THE

EXPERIENCE OF YEARS...

(see below)

Scroll down only after you have counted them, okay?

How many did you count? 3?

Wrong, there are 6! Read it again. The brain cannot process "OF" - incredible or what? Supposedly anyone who counts all 6 "F's" on the first go is a genius. Three is normal, four is quite rare.

ME GENIUS..ME GENIUS..

[Bishu]

That’s really amazing machan ,,, 1st I count 4 & 2nd time I counted all the 6 “F”s…….

[MrCat]

first time 5 bt 2nd time 6

OH... i didnt count da second time.. sud hav been a genius...

[GihanFX]

OH... i didnt count da second time.. sud hav been a genius...

Actually first time i found only 5F's and then i scroll down the page and then i saw there r 6F's and i read it again and found the 6th F

[noaim]

During a good manners and etiquette class being held for young children, the teacher says to her students:

"If you were courting a well educated young girl from a prominent family and during a dinner for two you needed to go to the toilet, what would you say to her?"

Mike replies: "Wait a minute, I'm going for a piss."

The teacher says: "That would be very rude and improper on your part."

Charlie replies: "I'm sorry I need to go to the toilet, I'll be back in a minute."

The teacher says: "That's much better but to mention the word ''toilet'' during a meal, is unpleasant."

And Little Johnny says: "My dear, please excuse me for a moment. I have to go shake hands with a personal friend, whom, I hope to be able to introduce to you after dinner. "

[MrCat]

Actually first time i found only 5F's and then i scroll down the page and then i saw there r 6F's and i read it again and found the 6th F

aaaaah... dats how u did it... that way of course i also found da 6th F...

[noaim]

A husband and wife are sitting quietly in bed reading when the wife looks over at him and asks a bold question.

WIFE: "What would you do if I died? Would you get married again?"

HUSBAND: "Definitely not!"

WIFE: "Why not - don't you like being married?"

HUSBAND: "Of course I do."

WIFE: "Then why wouldn't you remarry?"

HUSBAND: "Okay, I'd get married again."

WIFE: "You would?" (with a hurtful look on her face).

HUSBAND: (makes audible groan).

WIFE: "Would you live in our house?"

HUSBAND: "Sure, it's a great house."

WIFE: "Would you sleep with her in our bed?"

HUSBAND: "Where else would we sleep?"

WIFE: "Would you let her drive my car?"

HUSBAND: "Probably, it is almost new."

WIFE: "Would you replace my pictures with hers?"

HUSBAND: "That would seem like the proper thing to do."

WIFE: "Would she use my golf clubs?"

HUSBAND: "No, she's left-handed."

WIFE: -- silence --

HUSBAND: "Shit."

[Pericles]

And Little Johnny says: "My dear, please excuse me for a moment. I have to go shake hands with a personal friend, whom, I hope to be able to introduce to you after dinner. "

Hah! A new one! after a long time. And I love little johnny jokes

[MrCat]

A husband and wife are sitting quietly in bed reading when the wife looks over at him and asks a bold question.

WIFE: "What would you do if I died? Would you get married again?"

HUSBAND: "Definitely not!"

WIFE: "Why not - don't you like being married?"

HUSBAND: "Of course I do."

WIFE: "Then why wouldn't you remarry?"

HUSBAND: "Okay, I'd get married again."

WIFE: "You would?" (with a hurtful look on her face).

HUSBAND: (makes audible groan).

WIFE: "Would you live in our house?"

HUSBAND: "Sure, it's a great house."

WIFE: "Would you sleep with her in our bed?"

HUSBAND: "Where else would we sleep?"

WIFE: "Would you let her drive my car?"

HUSBAND: "Probably, it is almost new."

WIFE: "Would you replace my pictures with hers?"

HUSBAND: "That would seem like the proper thing to do."

WIFE: "Would she use my golf clubs?"

HUSBAND: "No, she's left-handed."

WIFE: -- silence --

HUSBAND: "Shit."

He sure is in deep Shit all right...!!

[Memphis]

Here's another "How To Be a Street Racer" Tutorial

[noaim]

Here's another "How To Be a Street Racer" Tutorial

Very Nice..

A cabbie picks up a nun. She gets into the cab, and the cab driver won't stop staring at her.

She asks him why he is staring.

He replies: "I have a question to ask you, but I don't want to offend you".

She answers, "My son, you cannot offend me. When you're as old as I am and have been a nun as long as I have, you get a chance to see and hear just about everything. I'm sure that there's nothing you could say or ask that I would find offensive."

"Well, I've always had a fantasy to have a nun kiss me."

She responds, "Well, let's see what we can do about that. But first, you have to be single and you must be Catholic."

The cab driver is very excited and says, "Yes, I'm single and Catholic!"

"OK" the nun says. "Pull into the next alley, "maybe we will see what we can do."

The nun fulfills his fantasy with a kiss that would make a hooker blush. But when they get back on the road, the cab driver starts crying.

"My dear child," said the nun, why are you crying?"

"Forgive me, but I've sinned. I lied. I must confess, I'm married and I'm Jewish."

The nun says, "That's OK, my name is Kevin and I'm going to a Halloween party."

[MrCat]

The nun says, "That's OK, my name is Kevin and I'm going to a Halloween party."

Siraaaa...!!

i mailed this to the ppl at office also...

[noaim]

i mailed this to the ppl at office also...

Copyright Infringement... Im gonna sue u! lol!

A man and his wife are at the zoo. As they walk through the ape exhibit, they pass in front of a very large, hairy gorilla. Noticing her, the gorilla starts bouncing around his cage. He jumps up on the bars and, holding on with one hand, grunts and pounds his chest.

The husband, finding this funny, suggests that his wife tease the poor primate. The husband suggests she pucker her lips, wiggle her bottom at him, and play along. She does, and the gorilla gets even more excited, making noises that would raise the dead. Then, the husband suggests that she let one of the straps to her dress fall to show a bit more skin.

She does and Mr. Gorilla nearly tears the bars down. “Now, lift your dress up to your thighs and sort of fan it at him,” says the man. She does, driving the gorilla absolutely crazy to the point at which he starts doing flips.

Then, the husband grabs his wife, throws open the door to the cage, slings her in with the gorilla and slams the cage door shut.

“Now tell HIM you have a headache.”

..............................................................

A man is sitting on a public toilet when the guy in the stall next to him says, “Hi, how are you?”

“Um, fine,” answers the man.

“What are you up to?” asks the other guy.

“I’m traveling,” the first guy says hesitantly.

“Mind if I stop over?”

“What? Why the hell would you do that?”

“Hey, I’ll call you back,” says the other guy. “The dipshit in the next stall keeps talkin’ to me.”

[MrCat]

Copyright Infringement... Im gonna sue u! lol!

[noaim]

A local newspaper ran a competition asking for a poem with the most romantic first line, but the least romantic second line. Here are some of the entries they received:

I thought that I could love no other

Until, that is, I met your brother.

Roses are red, violets are blue,

sugar is sweet, and so are you.

But the roses are wilting, the violets are dead,

the sugar bowl's empty and so is your head.

Of loving beauty you float with grace.

If only you could hide your face.

Kind, intelligent, loving and hot;

This describes everything you are not.

I want to feel your sweet embrace

But don't take that paper bag off of your face.

I love your smile, your face, and your eyes

Damn, I'm good at telling lies!

My darling, my lover, my beautiful wife

Marrying you screwed up my life.

I see your face when I am dreaming

That's why I always wake up screaming.

My love, you take my breath away.

What have you stepped in to smell this way.

My feelings for you no words can tell,

Except for maybe "go to hell."

What inspired this amorous rhyme?

Two parts vodka, one part lime.

[noaim]

[Newbi]

Hey guys, How do I put a picture in here.... a jpeg