Post-Whoring

ash · August 7, 2006

DADDY! HOW WAS I BORN?" Junior asks his dad,

His dad, who is a software engineer sighs and replies,

"Ah, my son, I guess one day you would have to find out anyway!"

"Well, I saw your Mom and I first got together in a chat room on MSN. Then I set up a date via e-mail with your mom and we met at a Cyber-cafe. We sneaked into a secluded room, where your mother agreed to a download from my hard drive. As soon as I was ready to upload, we discovered that neither one of us had used a firewall, but it was too late to hit the delete Button."

"Six weeks later your mom sent me an instant message saying that her operating system was showing signs of unauthorized program activity from a self extracting file which had implanted in her BIOS. Then nine months later a little Pop-Up appeared and said:

"You've Got a Male!!!"

ash · August 7, 2006

It was my first time ever

And I'll never forget

I'd do it again

Without a single regret.

The sky was dark

The moon was high

We were all alone

Just she and I.

Her hair was soft

Her eyes were blue

I knew just what

She wanted to do.

Her skin so soft

Her legs so fine

I ran my fingers

Down her spine.

I didn't know how

But I tried my best

I started by placing

My hands on her breast.

I remember my fear

My fast beating heart

But slowly she spread

Her legs apart.

And when I did it

All at once

The white stuff came.

At last it's finished

It's all over now

My first time ever..

.

At milking a cow...

AMG · August 7, 2006

Nice One Machan...

unknown · August 7, 2006

i have seen

three wheelers

with 5 speed sticker, 4x4 or 4WD

funny

agitha · August 8, 2006

:lol:

A young woman who was several months pregnant boarded a bus. When She noticed a young man smiling at her she began feeling humiliated onaccount of her condition. She changed her seat and he seemed more amused.

She moved again and then on her third move he burst out laughing..................She had him arrested. Then the case came before the court, the young man was asked why he acted in such a manner. His reply was: When the lady boarded the bus I couldn't help noticing she was pregnant. She sat under an advertisement, which read: 'Coming Soon: The Gold Dust Twins'.

I was even more amused when she sat under a shaving advertisement, which read: 'William's Stick Did The Trick'. Then I could not control myself any longer when on the third move she sat under an advertisement, which read: 'Dunlop Rubber would have prevented this accident.' The case was dismissed.........!!!!!!!!

GihanFX · August 9, 2006

Some News For PC Users

Say bye bye ATI ?

It's been rumored on the web for a couple of days now that the brandname ATI would cease to exsist. I did not want to post it as I figured it would be a bad rumor. None the less it has been semi-confirmed. The brand name ATI will likely cease to exsist in the years to come. As you know AMD recently bought ATI and is moving forward strongly. I doubt if it is wise to ditch such a well-known name but hey .. it is what it is right ?.

Product branding like "RADEON" will remain the same though. But yeah that will sound weird huh ? But weird this would be: AMD Radeon X1950 ...

Update: AMD has backtracked on that position, saying no such decision has been made and that it maintains a strong commitment to the ATi brand.

AMD's olive branch to ATi fan boys came straight from the company's Sunnyvale headquarters. Spokesperson Eric DeRitis told Custom PC: 'AMD has no plans to drop the ATi brand name or ATi's product brands. The ATi name will live on at AMD as our leading consumer brand, and so will the Radeon brand and other ATi product brands. AMD's executive management knows very well the power and value of branding, and ATi's branding is some of the most valued in the global technology industry. As such, we plan to keep it. Period.'

Gareth Cater of AMD told us today that although 'the new company will be called AMD ... the future branding of individual products and platforms will be determined at a later point in time.'

What's clear from all this is that ATi will have no part in the overall name of the company after the takeover, but it's possible that AMD will continue to use the ATi brand, as well as the Radeon brand, for specific product lines. What's also clear is that mixed messages are not only being given to the press, but also to the employees of both ATi and AMD.

Source: N/A

ASUS to takeover Gigabyte

Some small gossip: rumors are everywhere that ASUS to going to takeover Gigabyte.

Short and simple ... Guru3D called up some sources in the industry and this seems to be for real. Imagine the beast that would create on the market ..

Update: it's just been confirmed, Asustek and Gigabyte have just agreed to a major combined arms strategy. We just got a call from Gigabyte.

The new joint venture will effectively let Gigabyte use Asustek facilities for manufacturing of "Gigabyte" branded video cards and motherboards.

Gigabyte will own a 51% stake in the company, with Asustek picking up the other 49%. HKEPC (English) reports the deal is valued at approximately $244M USD, and that the new joint venture will become official January 1, 2007. Neither company would comment on the effect of the joint venture on existing manufacturing, claiming that only the legal proceedings to start the company have been publically announced at this time. The joint venture will also get a new name, but both companies are also tight lipped about that as well.

Source: N/A

agitha · August 10, 2006

is this bill gates car??

noaim · August 10, 2006

:lol: he deserves an "A"...

ash · August 10, 2006

he deserves an "A"...

It’s funny indeed. Well done peter.... :lol:

LONDON (Reuters) - British Airways said on Thursday that no hand baggage would be allowed on any of its planes leaving UK airports, after British police said they had disrupted a plot to blow up aircraft in mid-flight.
A number of people in the London area had been arrested, police said.

"British Airways, acting on instruction from the UK Government, wishes to advise passengers that no items

ADVERTISEMENT

of hand baggage can be carried on board any aircraft departing any UK airport," the airline said in an e-mailed statement.

"The UK Government has advised that this instruction will apply to all airlines operating from UK airports."

BA said no electrical or battery-powered items would be allowed in the cabin, including laptops and mobile phones.

The Department of Transport said in a statement on its Web site that security at all UK airports had been increased and additional security measures had been put in place on all flights.

The British Airports Authority said all passengers would be hand searched and their footwear and all items they carry would be X-rayed. It added that all passengers on flights to the United States would be subject to a secondary search at the boarding gate. All liquids would also be removed, BAA added.

Dublin-based airline Ryanair said passengers should expect significant delays.

noaim · August 15, 2006

Cool Ads!

THINGS THAT PISS ME OFF!!!

People who point at their wrist while asking for the time. I know where my watch is buddy, where the f**k is yours? Do I point at my crotch when I ask where the bathroom is?

People who are willing to get off their ass to search the entire room for the TV remote because they refuse to walk to the TV and change the channel manually.

When people say "Oh you just want to have your cake and eat it too". f**k off. What good is a goddamn cake if you can't eat it? What, should I eat someone else's cake instead?

When people say "It's always in the last place you look". Of course it is. Why the f**k would you keep looking after you've found it? Do people do this? Who and where are they?

When people say, while watching a movie "Did you see that?" No dick nose, I paid $9.00 to come to the theatre and stare at the f**king ceiling up there. What did you come here for?

People who ask "Can I ask you a question?" Didn't really give me a choice there, did ya buddy?

When something is "new and improved", which is it? If it's new, then there has never been anything before it. If it's an improvement, then there must have been something before it.

When a cop pulls you over and then asks if you know how fast you were going? You should know asshole, you f**king pulled me over.

When people say "Life is short." What the f**k?? Life is the longest damn thing anyone ever f**king does!! What? Are they going to f**king do something that's longer?

When people ask "Can I BORROW a piece of paper?" Sure, but please don't return the favor! It's on god damn piece of paper!

When you are waiting for the bus and someone ask you "Did the bus come yet?" If the bus came I would not be standing here asshole!

Edited August 15, 2006 by monamonu

noaim · August 15, 2006

In an attempt to influence the members of the international Olympic committee on their choice of venue for the games in the year 2016, the organizers of ******'s bid have already drawn up an itinerary and schedule of events. A copy has been leaked and is reproduced below.

OPENING CEREMONY

The Olympic flame will be ignited by a petrol bomb thrown by a native of the city (preferably from the North Side area), wearing the traditional kit. The flame will be contained in a large chip van situated on the roof of the stadium.

THE EVENTS

In previous Olympic games, ******'s competitors have not been particularly successful. In order to redress the balance, some of the events have been altered slightly to the advantage of local '******' athletes.

100 METERS SPRINT

Competitors will have to hold a video recorder and microwave oven (one in each arm) and on the sound of the starting pistol, a police dog will be released from a cage 10 yards behind the athletes.

100 METERS HURDLES

As above but with added obstacles (i.e. car bonnets, hedges, gardens, fences walls etc.)

HAMMER

Competitors in this event may choose the type of hammer they wish to use (claw, sledge etc.) the winner will be the one who can cause the most grievous bodily harm to members of the public within the time allowed.

FENCING

Entrants will be asked to dispose of as much stolen silver and jewelry as possible in 5 minutes.

SHOOTING

A strong challenge is expected from the local men in this event. The first target will be a moving police van. In the second round, competitors will aim at a post office clerk bank teller or Securicor style wages delivery man.

BOXING

Entry to the boxing will be restricted to husband and wife teams, and will take place on a Friday night. The husband will be given 15 pints of lager while the wife will be told not to make him any tea when he gets home. The bout will then commence.

CYCLING TIME TRIALS

Competitors will be asked to break into the University bike shed and take an expensive mountain bike owned by some mummy's boy from the country on his first trip away from home. All against the clock

CYCLING PURSUIT

As above but the bike will be owned by a visiting member of the Australian rugby team, who will witness the theft.

MODERN PENTATHLON

Amended to include mugging, breaking and entering, flashing, joy riding and arson.

THE MARATHON

A safe route has yet to be decided , but the competitors will be issued with sharp sticks and bags with which to pick up litter on their way round the course.

SWIMMING

Competitors will be thrown off the bridge over the ship canal. The first three survivors back, will decide the medals

MEN'S 50KM WALK

Unfortunately this will have to be cancelled as the police cannot guarantee the safety of anyone walking the streets of

*******.

THE CLOSING CEREMONY

Entertainment will include formation rave dancing by members of the Salford Health in the Community anti-drug campaigners, synchronized rock throwing and music by the Stockport Community Choir. The Olympic flame will be extinguished by someone dropping an old washing machine onto it from the top floor of the block of flats next to the stadium. The stadium will be then boarded up before the local athletes break into it and remove all the copper piping and the central heating boiler.

Morgoth · August 15, 2006

Best anti-smoking Ad I've seen yet

Edited August 15, 2006 by Morgoth

JwesT · August 15, 2006

Can u Imagine how it would be if G. W. Bush is Black?

http://www.metacafe.com/watch/20293/black_goverment/

JwesT · August 15, 2006

Real life internet

http://www.mojoflix.com/Video/Chappelle-s-...e-Internet.html

MADZ · August 15, 2006

Real life internet

http://www.mojoflix.com/Video/Chappelle-s-...e-Internet.html

hahaha man that was really funny

GihanFX · August 18, 2006

Found these pics from another Sri Lankan web site and i thought to share with u guys

Edited August 18, 2006 by GihanFX

tuk tuk · August 20, 2006

OK, found the owner and it is a Galant. Case closed. Will put pics if I can convince him to bring the car for a photo session.

Hey, did anything become of this?

Elvis_Pil · August 20, 2006

Get rich quick! Ever fancy being a bounty hunter? Check out the rewards!

http://www.fbi.gov/wanted/topten/fugitives/fugitives.htm

Pericles · August 20, 2006

Hey, did anything become of this?

Oh right, must do that. He's a little pissed coz some van has dented a door. I think WCC is clear tho

tuk tuk · August 20, 2006

Oh right, must do that. He's a little pissed coz some van has dented a door. I think WCC is clear tho

yeah, I'm sure he'd remember the pimped out 'Performance Noah with enough sound to stage a mini-concert' if it side-swiped him.

About the car: It'd be dead cool to the mod described. Always been a fan of done-up older cars. From the posts, I gather the owner's done a good job modifiying up his Galant and hopefully he's matched that with some muscle under the hood too.

Edited August 20, 2006 by tuk tuk

Pericles · August 20, 2006

About the car: It'd be dead cool to see what all the fuss is about. From the posts, I gather the owner's done a good job modifiying up his Galant. Hopefully he's got some muscle under the hood too.

Well, I gather he hasn't done the stuff himself, and that it was like that when he got it. But I will work on getting those pics.