Post-Whoring

[sharkster]

no not at all, had to buy em all except one. Got a really hot Free Aston Martin Baby Vantage 1:18 scale with a autocar magazine subscription. Bought 2 WRC cars, 2 Evo's, 1 classic Jag E type, 2 Formula 1 cars, and a Enzo. I'm in Preston Road, Harrow.

those autocar subscrips r a gud deal...i like the magazine content plus i got a 1:18 red enzo...which i gave away cos i had excess baggage

[GihanFX]

hei

this is the first time im writting something in this post whore thing,

cool

had a hard time reading it. finaly completed it today morning

bye

no big deal only 22 pages

[unknown]

no big deal only 22 pages

im not that much jobless

May I be the first to welcome you to the international brotherhood of postwhores then..Was planning on quitting myself

thanx

[GihanFX]

im not that much jobless

[noaim]

A man on a bike was stopped at the border by police assigned to investigate goods transported across both states. He carried a bag of sand. On perusing through however, the cop found nothing else in the bag and therefore let him go. The next day this man was stopped with his bike and a bag of sand and the same process carried out. Again, he was let off when the cop found nothing illegal. This sequence carried on for three years. One day both men, the cop and the bike guy, met at a pub. "Tell me, man," said the cop, "I promise I will not tell anyone; but what were you smuggling all those years?" Surprised, the man looked at this professional, laughed and shrugged. "Bicycles," he said.

[sharkster]

The mother-in-law stopped unexpectedly by the recently married couple's house. She rang the doorbell and stepped into the house. She saw her daughter-in-law standing naked by the door.

"What are you doing?" she asked.

"I'm waiting for my husband to come home from work"

the daughter-in-law answered.

"But you're naked!" the mother-in-law exclaimed.

"This is my love dress" the daughter-in-law explained.

"But you're naked!" exclaimed the mother-in-law.

"My husband loves me to wear this dress!

It makes him happy and it makes me happy.

I would appreciate it if you would leave because he will be

home from work any minute." said the daughter-in-law.

The mother-in-law was tired of all this romantic talk and left. On the way home she thought about the love dress. When she got home she got undressed, took a shower, put on her best perfume and waited by the front door. Finally her husband came home. He walked in and saw her standing naked by the door.

"What are you doing?" he asked.

"This is my love dress" she replied.

"You should've ironed it!" said her husband.

[noaim]

A couple goes on a vacation to a fishing resort in Northern Alberta. The husband likes to fish at the crack of dawn. The wife likes to read. One morning the husband returns after several hours of fishing and decides to take a nap. Although not familiar with the lake, the wife decides to take the boat out. She motors out a short distance, anchors and continues to read her book. Along comes a game warden in his boat. He pulls up alongside the woman and says, "Good morning Ma'am. What are you doing?"

"Reading a book," she replies, (thinking "isn't that obvious?"). "You're in a restricted fishing area," he informs her. "I'm sorry officer, but I'm not fishing. I'm reading."

"Yes, but you have all the equipment. For all I know you could start at any moment. I'll have to take you in and write you up."

"If you do that, I'll have to charge you with sexual assault," says the woman. "But I haven't even touched you," says the game warden. "That's true, but you have all the equipment. For all I know you could start at any moment."

"Have a nice day Ma'am," and he left...

MORAL OF THE STORY :

Never argue with a woman who reads. It's likely she can think also.

No offence ladies!!

[unknown]

im kidding bro

A man on a bike was stopped at the border by police assigned to investigate goods transported across both states. He carried a bag of sand. On perusing through however, the cop found nothing else in the bag and therefore let him go. The next day this man was stopped with his bike and a bag of sand and the same process carried out. Again, he was let off when the cop found nothing illegal. This sequence carried on for three years. One day both men, the cop and the bike guy, met at a pub. "Tell me, man," said the cop, "I promise I will not tell anyone; but what were you smuggling all those years?" Surprised, the man looked at this professional, laughed and shrugged. "Bicycles," he said.

thats a good one

[noaim]

How To Wash The Cat

1. Thoroughly clean the toilet.

2. Add the required amount of shampoo to the toilet water.

3. Obtain the cat and carry him to the bathroom.

4. In one smooth movement, put the cat in the toilet and close both lids (you may need to stand on the lid so that he cannot escape). CAUTION: Do not get any part of your body too close to the edge, as his paws will be reaching out for anything he can find.

5. Flush the toilet three or four times. This provides a "power wash and rinse" which I have

found to be quite effective.

6. Have someone open the door to the outside and ensure that there are no people between the toilet and the outside door.

7. Stand behind the toilet as far as you can, and quickly lift both lids.

8. The now-clean cat will rocket out of the toilet, and run outside where he will dry himself.

[GihanFX]

im kidding bro

me 2

[unknown]

If a tree falls...

This is the question:

If a tree falls in the forest, and no one is there to hear it, does it make a sound?

Here are some answers:

If a tree falls in the forest...

Catholicism: It fell for our sins.

Judaism: Oy, the tree fell, again?!

Buddhism: There is no tree.

Islam: Islam is not really about knocking over trees.

Fundamentalism: The tree was Evil.

Racism: That kind of tree is always falling.

Plagiarism: That kind of tree is always falling.

Defeatism: All the trees are going to fall.

Pessimism: That is the forest of the fallen tree.

Optimism: Almost all the trees are standing.

Capitalism: Let's sell the wood.

Globalism: Let's sell the wood, half way around the world.

Communism: Let's knock over all the other trees.

Socialism: Let's ask the other trees to fall.

Nepotism: Give the tree to my cousin.

Isolationism: That tree is none of our business, in fact, neither is the forest.

And the one that actually tries to answer the question asked, is...

Quantum Physics: Of course not, by definition.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

English - a Second Language

Paris hotel elevator:

Please leave your values at the front desk.

Rome laundry:

Ladies, leave your clothes here and spend the afternoon having a good time.

Czechoslovak tourist agency:

Take one of our horse-driven city tours - we guarantee no miscarriages.

Swiss mountain inn:

Special today - no ice cream.

Bangkok dry cleaner's:

Drop your trousers here for best results.

Bangkok temple:

It is forbidden to enter a woman, even a foreigner, if dressed as a man.

Yugoslav hotel:

The flattening of underwear with pleasure is the job of the chambermaids.

Swiss restaurant menu:

Our wines leave you with nothing to hope for.

Acapulco hotel:

The manager has personally passed all the water served here.

In a Copenhagen airline ticket office:

We take your bags and send them in all directions.

Car rental firm brochure in Tokyo:

When passenger of foot heave in sight, tootle the horn. Trumpet him melodiously at first, but if he still obstacles your passage then tootle him with vigor.

In a Leipzig elevator:

Do not enter the lift backwards, and only when lit up.

Swedish Furrier:

Furs made for ladies from their own skins.

[GihanFX]

A bypasser asks the farmer:

Do your pigs smoke?

No!

Then I think your pigsty is on fire

[Watchman]

those autocar subscrips r a gud deal...i like the magazine content plus i got a 1:18 red enzo...which i gave away cos i had excess baggage

i know.... i remember that deal... but diliveryt o SL was like way expensive.. i guess its easier if u got here and get it, like Shak did....

[Pericles]

Anyone notice that Madz has been absent from the forums for a looong time?

Oh Madz .... where are u? ....

[sharkster]

Anyone notice that Madz has been absent from the forums for a looong time?

Oh Madz .... where are u? ....

nope he's observin...jus too busy to participate...spoke to d boss yday

[Andrew_GTR]

nope he's observin...jus too busy to participate...spoke to d boss yday

HeHeHeHe.... I KNOW for a FACT that he is OBSERVING and that doesnt mean only the Forums... hehehe...

[JwesT]

Hilton In Paris

http://www.metacafe.com/watch/88338/hilton_in_paris/

[MADZ]

nope he's observin...jus too busy to participate...spoke to d boss yday

ya machan these days busy like hell ....

HeHeHeHe.... I KNOW for a FACT that he is OBSERVING and that doesnt mean only the Forums... hehehe...

[GihanFX]

Father : I want you to marry a girl of my choice

Son : "I will choose my own bride!"

Father: "But the girl is Bill Gates's daughter."

Son : "Well, in that case...ok"

Next Father approaches Bill Gates.

Father: "I have a husband for your daughter."

Bill Gates: "But my daughter is too young to marry!"

Father: "But this young man is a vice-president of the World Bank."

Bill Gates: "Ah, in that case...ok"

Finally Father goes to see the president of the World Bank.

Father: "I have a young man to be recommended as a vice-president."

President: "But I already have more vice- presidents than I need!"

Father: "But this young man is Bill Gates's son-in-law."

President: "Ah, in that case...ok"

This is how business is done!!

[Watchman]

man..its soo hard keeping track of the forum qwhen u log in only once a day

[GihanFX]

man..its soo hard keeping track of the forum qwhen u log in only once a day

true true,,, n these days ADSL is not working properly very slow downloading speed,

[Watchman]

true true,,, n these days ADSL is not working properly very slow downloading speed,

me on Lankabell CDMA.... like they say, cheapest call charges! only six rupees a hour to go online in the night! speed better than dialup.. it says 230kbps, though i'm not sure if its THAT fast..

[GihanFX]

me on Lankabell CDMA.... like they say cheapest call charges! only six rupees a hour to go online in the night! speed better than dialup.. it saus 230kbps though i;m not sure if its THAT fast..

cool cool so any slt ADSL users .. after 15th april the net speed is useles so any comments ?

[Pericles]

cool cool so any slt ADSL users .. after 15th april the net speed is useles so any comments ?

when the environment is variable, u can't judge so easily. if ur online late, the speeds are maxed out.

[fuzzo]

me on Lankabell CDMA.... like they say, cheapest call charges! only six rupees a hour to go online in the night! speed better than dialup.. it says 230kbps, though i'm not sure if its THAT fast..

use this test to see what sort of bandwidth you get

http://bandwidthplace.com/speedtest/

and then post the result in this thread

http://forum.autolanka.com/index.php?s...pic=176&hl=adsl